How do you know when you might need Couples Counselling?
People tend to book in for Couple Counselling when they get a sense that things are not working in their relationship.
Living together can present challenges for all couples no matter what age. The issues may be different but finding the right balance of closeness and intimacy will remain the same.
- Do you both recognize a level of dissatisfaction in your relationship because you feel that you are living separate lives?
- Do you find that your arguing is becoming more distressing and not resolving anything?
- Have you have lost your intimacy and stopped having sex ?
- Have you lost trust in your partner because of a past betrayal and you find that you are avoiding spending time with one another?
- If you have children, they will be taking up a lot of your time and attention. Perhaps this leaves little or no energy for yourself and your partner?
You are not alone in your problematic relationship. It is very common for people to feel neglected and uncared for by their partner and it is easy for resentments to build up.
Things may seem a struggle now but communication between you can improve.
In Couples counselling, each individual of the couple gets equal attention and time and although individuals frequently want to blame the other for ‘the problem’, therapy takes the blame out of the situation by using systemic exploration and psychodynamic understanding.
You may find that your partner has become depressed and that this is leading to you having to do the majority of the work and caring in the relationship. ’Couples Therapy for Depression’ is a particular model developed for such couples by Tavistock Relationships, London. I am fully trained in this model. You can look my name up on the list of people who are trained in the UK. During the later stages of Couples Therapy for Depression you will have specific techniques and tasks to carry out within your therapy session and at home.
Talking your problems through with a trained relationship therapist is not always easy or comfortable but it will, in nearly all cases, be immensely rewarding, enlightening and helpful to your relationship.
Bear in mind that it is not the therapist’s job to ‘fix’ an impossible relationship.
There are times when a couple may decide to separate.
In this case, Couples Counselling would focus on achieving a supportive and amicable separation.
If you have children, maintaining an open and friendly relationship with your ex is essential to the well-being of your children.
Good communication between you is necessary to co-parent successfully.